Wednesday, January 04, 2006
1:06 AM
Its a little weird reading all the past post since 2004. This was triggered off after talking to the specific him.
The silly things I have done. Staying up late. Always supporting him. Leaving those meaningful msgs and the list goes on. But, he appreciates and still says a thank you at the end of his O's. And I was Surprised. How amazing he was there when no one else was online, when I found out about my granddad's death and I was not allowed to fly home cause it would worsen my sickness condition. How all of the sudden he always appears at random times. Even yesterday. I guess convincing him of letting me go or I letting hm go was right. Because I was thousand miles away.
Despite the fact I sounded like a kid in my past posts, haha Ive changed so much. Just like my motto then " Ill become a butterfly, who will show the beauty within, the lady itself" haha. And somehow, I am. hhaha
Thinking back about him, the hongkongers who played the worst joke on me, and voone made up most of 2004, besides knowing wai jai, the "5", that "6", my head concussion, the list goes on.
Somehow yet despite all these, he seemed to made one of the deeper impacts in my life. I guess his always special, whether or not I am to him. Whether during that period, he felt the same way I did. haha. We grow and learn.
Sometimes, it is better not to understand a person too much, because it scares both ways. I learnt to be observant through another series of events that took place when I was in high school. Till this day, it still stays in my mind.
All these experiences and life Ive been through till this day was all deep pitfalls that I have to crawl, slowly. When I fall once Ill crawl again.
Simplicity Ive grown to love. Fashions Ive grown to create. Photogrpahs that Ive passion"ed" Everything.
I dun know when will I find that guy, but Im sure, he won't be the first, but he will be my last. And hold on to me as I crawl through each pitfall I fall.
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